If your child applies for a desirable job today, they aren't just walking into an interview. They are entering a competition. They are likely one of hundreds applicants. To get that job, they need to be the standout candidate.

For years, I have argued that we must view employability from the perspective of the employer. For an employer, hiring is a risky business. They want the candidate with the lowest risk of failure and the highest likelihood of performance.

So, how does a teenager become that low-risk, high-potential candidate? We often assume this preparation happens in classrooms or careers interviews. But the data tells a different story. The most critical career development work isn't happening at school. It's happening at your dinner table.

The Launchpad Effect

Despite the expertise of careers advisors and teachers, research consistently highlights that parents are the primary and most powerful influence on a young person's career decisions. In fact, this influence is often so strong that it overrides the advice of industry professionals.

You are the foundation. The quality of your support is a key determining factor in their thoughts and actions around future pathways.

However, there is a tension here. Many parents I speak to feel ill-equipped to give advice on a rapidly changing job market. Others worry about being overbearing. The research supports this concern: when parents are too involved or controlling, it leads to higher conflict and confusion for the young person.

So, how do we balance this? How do we use our influence to help our children present themselves as the lowest risk candidate without taking over and destroying their agency?

The answer lies in shifting our role from managing our children to, subtly, coaching our children.

The Power of Conversation

Effective career support isn't about dictating a path ("You should be an accountant because it pays well"). It is about building Career Decision Making Self-Efficacy (CDMSE). In plain English, building your child's confidence in their own ability to make a decision.

Studies show a positive correlation between parental encouragement and this self-efficacy. The goal is to move toward an authoritative parenting style: high in support but encouraging of independence.

This is where coaching techniques come into play. A coach doesn't play the game for the athlete; they help the athlete analyse their performance and plan for the next match.

Instead of asking, "What do you want to be?", try using open, non-judgmental coaching questions to help them identify their core skills:

"What is a problem you solved recently that made you feel capable?"

"Which activities make you lose track of time because you enjoy them so much?"

"Tell me about a moment when you felt really proud of something you accomplished."

"What do your friends come to you for help with?"

"When you work on a group project, what role do you naturally take on?"

These conversations do more than build a bond; they help the young person identify their alignment. That crucial cultural fit and shared values that employers are desperately looking for.

The beauty of coaching questions is that they don't lead. They explore. You're not telling them what to think; you're helping them discover what they already know about themselves. This approach builds their decision-making confidence far more effectively than directive advice ever could.

Curating Evidence: The Parent as Strategist

Here is where my philosophy on employability intersects with parenting. To stand out in that field of hundreds of qualified and keen applicants, a candidate needs evidence. They need to prove they have the core skills for the role, such as leadership, adaptability, and digital literacy, using examples from their real life.

Young people often struggle to see the value in their own experiences. They don't understand that organising a gaming tournament is evidence of leadership, or that balancing a part-time job with exams is evidence of resilience. They don't see that mediating a disagreement between friends demonstrates conflict resolution, or that learning video editing software for fun shows initiative and digital literacy.

You can use coaching conversations to help them curate these experiences.

When they tell you about a difficult situation at school or a project they completed, help them frame it using the STAR framework (Situation, Task, Action, Result):

• Situation: What was the problem?
• Task: What did you need to do?
• Action: What did you specifically do?
• Result: What was the outcome?

For example, if your teenager mentions they helped their younger sibling with homework while you were working late, you might ask:

"That sounds like you were juggling quite a bit. What was the most challenging part of managing that situation?" (Situation)

"What did you need to make sure happened?" (Task)

"How did you approach it?" (Action)

"How did it turn out? What did you learn about yourself?" (Result)

By helping them articulate their stories this way, you are teaching them to de-risk themselves in the eyes of a future employer. You are helping them build a portfolio of evidence before they even write their first CV.

Try and be a bit subtle. These are teenagers after all. If they think that you, as a parent, are trying to enforce the STAR framework on every conversation, it's not going to go well. Think of the STAR framework as a conversational structure to keep in your mind. Once they get as far as applying for a job you can pull it out and name it.

This isn't about fabricating experiences or exaggerating achievements. It's about teaching them to recognise the skills they're already developing and to articulate them effectively. Most young people are doing remarkable things. They just don't see it yet.

Intentionality: Planning for the Long Game

One of the most powerful things you can do is help your child think intentionally about experience-building. This doesn't mean micromanaging their schedule or forcing them into activities they hate. It means helping them understand that choices have consequences for their future employability.

When they're deciding how to spend their summer, you might explore:

"What skills or experiences do you think you're missing that might be useful in the future?"

"Is there anything you've been curious about but haven't had the chance to try?"

"What would make you feel more confident about your abilities?"

This intentionality extends to gap years, part-time jobs, volunteering, hobbies, and even how they engage with their academic subjects. Every choice is an opportunity to gather evidence and develop core skills.

The key is to make them the architect of these decisions. You're not telling them what to do; you're helping them think strategically about their choices.

The Network Advantage

Finally, we must acknowledge that, anecdotally, around 70% of jobs are never advertised. Employers hire people they know or people recommended to them because it reduces risk.

As a parent, you are the gateway to your child's first professional network. This isn't about nepotism; it's about exposure. Facilitate connections with your friends, colleagues, or extended family: not to ask for jobs, but to ask for insight.

Encourage your teenager to have informational conversations with people working in fields they find interesting. These conversations build confidence, expand horizons, and create the social capital they need to navigate the hidden job market.

Again, remember that you are dealing with teenagers so you may well have to approach this in stealth mode, depending on the nature of your teenager. Just don't get caught. That's even worse than being unsubtle!

So this might not work:

You might say:

"I have a colleague who works in marketing. Would you like to ask them about what a typical day looks like?"

or

"My friend's company does environmental work. Fancy having a chat with her to learn more about that field?".

But a friend who works in marketing happening to drop round for a cuppa, and you naturally asking a few questions whilst your teenager is present might work better. Or not. You know your child.

These low-stakes conversations teach young people how to network authentically. They learn to ask good questions, to be curious about others' experiences, and to build relationships without an immediate ask. These are skills that will serve them for life.

The Bottom Line

Your influence as a parent persists well into adulthood. Research shows that young adults continue to cite their parents as the most significant factor in their career decisions, even after they've left home. This influence doesn't diminish. It evolves.

You cannot force alignment or skills, but you can provide the environment where they are recognised and cultivated. You can model curiosity, resilience, and strategic thinking. You can ask the right questions at the right moments. You can help them see themselves clearly and articulate their value.

By adopting a coaching mindset: listening more than talking, helping them curate their evidence, and encouraging them to explore their unique value, you aren't just being a supportive parent. You are helping them become the standout candidate who beats the odds.

In a world where your child will compete with hundreds of others for a single role, this isn't helicopter parenting. It's essential parenting. It's giving them the tools to de-risk themselves, to stand out authentically, and to navigate a job market that is often opaque and overwhelming.

So start the conversation tonight. Ask them about their day, but dig deeper. Help them see what they're already achieving. Coach them to think strategically. Be their career foundation.

Because when they do land that role, it won't be luck. It will be perhaps years of preparation meeting opportunity, guided by the most powerful influence in their life: you.

P.S.

At OneBigNext®, we support young people and their parents and carers through this defining inflection point.

If you need a little help navigating your teenage or young adult child's transition from education into a meaningful career, do  get in touch.